When you stop looking for the ground beneath your feet...

When you stop looking for the ground beneath your feet, you have only one option. Faith. Because, you have got to believe you will land on something solid, or that you will be taught to fly.

Last night, I had one of those experiences. I let go.... and the universe supported me. In a big way.

After yesterdays posting, I was sad. Not depressed, not hopeless, but instead of fighting, running, crying - I just let it be.

After reading about love and limerance, something occured to me. The cure for limerance is love. Not wanting anymore, just accepting... so, I made the leap out of limerance by embracing both my love for him, his limited love for me, and letting it be lost.

And then, the miracle happened.

I rode my bike to the festa del unita. I wandered around alone, cycling though all the stages. Anger, Denial, Barganing, Depression and Acceptance. I got a massage. I went to the shooting booth, and I won a huge tiger. I wandered around some more, hoping and terrified that he would see me there.

Then, I simply sat down at the enoteca. I nursed a glass of wine. I watched the people, and just allowed myself to feel what I was feeling, without fighting any of it.

The waiter looked at me, and he said "You look sad" - he went inside, and two waiters returned, bringing me a plate of food - Then, 2 men sitting at the table next to me asked me what was going on. I said "love, and a broken heart". Then they began to chat with me, and feed me - fruits, more wine.... and ...

I knew... I KNEW suddenly, that the Universe was supporting me in a big way. Everything was OK. With him, without him - it doesnt matter.

I woke up today - with a terrific hangover - but only a very little bit of pain.

And then, I looked at my phone. And there is was... spelled correctly....

"Shaun.... I am so very sorry"

Perhaps it changes nothing... but I am so grateful to know that he hurts too, he misses me too... I am not alone.