Day 1
Sleep 2 hours. Wake up. Burst into tears. Cry inconsolably for several hours. This will rid your body of unneeded water, and will raise your heart rate and get your metabolism going.
Drink some coffee.
Eat some vitamins.
Make some toast and stare at it.
Take frequent breaks, throughout the day to burst into tears or have a panic attack.
Day 2
Sleep 3 hours. Wake up, make coffee.
Eat some vitamins.
Make toast, but DO NOT EAT it.
Stare at the computer, and hope he shows up. Dial the phone, but hang up. Remember to keep yourself in a state of panic for optimum benefit.
Add 3 beers - just to make sure you get some caloric intake.
Stay awake until 5 am.
Day 3
Sleep 4 hours. Get up. Make coffee.
At this point, you may choose to take a shower, but this is optional.
Eat vitamins, make toast, and take a bite. Vomit if necessary.
Stare at the computer. Write a really stupid letter, and send it. This will cause a new panic attack, raising your heart rate and increasing your metabolism.
Go out and drink at least 5 glasses of wine while pretending to eat, just in case your appetite returns the next day. The wine will prevent you from eating.
Day 4
Sleep 4 hours. Wake up. Cry a little. Make coffee. Eat vitamins. Make toast, but leave on counter.
Promise yourself you will not call him. Dial his number. Be relieved when he doesn't answer - and then - this is very important - imagine that he is not answering the phone because he has already met a new woman, and is at the beach fucking his brains out while laughing at you.
This will cause you to cry inconsolably - yet again ridding you of unwanted water weight!
Day 5
You are now at your target weight! Yeah!
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