Sunday, October 07, 2007

sex as a drug

Last night, I spent the evening with Sean. He is lovely, and handsome and gentile.

We ended up in bed fooling around. And it was nice, and I came.

But - there is no love there. There is no love in any of these encounters.

I am using sex like a drug... as a way to escape my pain and fear and longing and insecurity.

Sex for me is sacramental, and I feel as if I have taken the wine from the altar, and am desecrating it.

I need to think about this.

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