There are five ways to ask the question; why do you love me?
There is to wit:
1. WHY do you love me?
2. Why DO you love me?
3. Why do YOU love me?
4. Why do you LOVE me?
and finally,
5. Why do you love ME?
In the last blog entry, I answered question number 1. Ale wasn't quite satisfied with my response, so I am going to assume that this was not exactly what he meant when he asked me.
Now, number 1 and 2 are redundant, number 3 is out of the question.... and 4 and 5 are similiar enough that I am going to take a swipe at this.
Beyond the obvious and previously stated answers that he is a fine person, kind and gentle and smart.... (there are lots of people who fit this description whom I don't love)....
I like who I am when I am with him. I like (usually) the reflection of myself I see in his eyes.
Its about me. When I am with him, I am gentler, softer, and sweeter. He's good for me. His presence in my life makes me a better person.
There are new things here that I have never encountered before... an equality that I'd not experienced, and a respectfulness that is new to me.
Most of all, there is, for me, a spiritual connection at times that frees me in a way that i cannot put into words. It is as if we are children, and we are playing together, and when we connect like this.... if feels so incredibly right, so comfortable, and so happy, and I never want to lose that.
There is something about him that is making me willing to stay and be calm and wait for a while. Because somewhere, underneath all my doubt and fear I think this could be a great love.
1 comment:
When you write like this, I don't even worry. I don't give it a second thought. I'm suffused with joy for you.
You have never, in all our 15+ years, expressed a sentiment such as "when I am with him, I am gentler, softer, and sweeter."
Okay, you told me (often) that I taught you how to dress like a girl, but that just ain't the same. We're both theater brats,...that was just outta my bag of tricks. (but thanks for the acknowledgement :) )
"It is as if we are children..."
That's worth gold. You've got it. Now, how do you massage that and make it last. Talk to Elaine & Rhoberta about this (when possible). They have told me many funny--and enlightening...AND surprising--things about their early days. They had to practice to get where they are now.
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