I went to church last week, and the new Priest, Reverend Barbara Cawthorne Crafton (yeah - a chick priest.... how cool is that!) gave a sermon that touched on how some of us really truely believe God is like us - that God loves what we love, hates who we hate - she said that we had better hope its not so.... because the only creature that really knows how to truely express pure and unconditionally perfect love is the dog. The rest of us are going to hell, (including cats....).
One of my spiritual mentors, Don Miguel Ruiz also speaks of this. Our dogs love us perfectly, just as we are. They are not angry with us when we don't have time to play - they are always happy to see us. When we are late coming home, they greet us at the door smiling - joyful at the fact that we have returned. They don't judge us or try and change us. And when we need something from them, they are generally there immediately, with a kiss and a cuddle. (Ok - this does not apply to chow chows. Chow chows are cats in disguise....)
Now, I have been trying very hard to love like my dog. (Minus the neediness.... my dog is really needy.) I have been working to put this principle into practice. Sometimes I am fairly good at it.... sometimes like my dog though, I get worried and will do the emotional equivalent of eating a pair of shoes when I suffer from seperation anxiety....
Being a human, rather than a dog, makes this hard though. I want something back for my love. I'm a capitalist at heart. If I love someone, I want their attention. Unlike my dog, I can "insist" on getting my investment out. But - thats not the same as love. That's a quid pro quo. I love you IF you feed me, play with me, scratch behind my ears. My dog would NEVER do this. She loves me truely, even if I am being the worlds biggest bitch, if I forget to feed her, if I get too busy for long walks. She might be unhappy - she might get a little nuerotic on me - but she would never threaten to withdraw her LOVE if she doesn't get her way.
I have always tried to live my life - and to teach those in my care - one important principle: An honorable person does the right thing without fear of punishment or hope of reward.
I think, maybe, that this maxim applies as well to love. If one chooses to love, commits to love, you must do it without fear of punishment or hope of reward. This requires bravery.... it is a fearsome way to live. Of course, this doesn't mean you let yourself be abused.... (my dog has no choice if I abuse her, of course...) So - if I love, and do my best to not put conditions on it.... to be ethically consistant with myself, I must love without an agenda - without worrying that I could be hurt, without hoping that it will end in the perfect dream.
Thats not my job. My job is to simply offer my love, to be happy to see my loved ones when they show up, to forgive instantly to the best of my ability - and to keep my heart and spirit open. I have taken - to the best of my ability - abandonment of those I love - off the table. (If I dont get my way I dont love you anymore....)
I am not perfect like my dog. If our god is an unforgiving god, I will never be perfect enough to obtain heaven. I hope and pray that god is like my dog; and I will stuggle to be like that image of god - the one who knows how imperfect I am.... and loves me any way. And I will try to mirror that kind of perfect love, however imperfectly I do it. Because in my heart, I think the world we live in is heaven or hell..... and it depends on how we dream it.
